How was your week? Mine was great. I found the BEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK! Here are last week’s, in case you want to feel informed. BUT NO WORRIES. LET’S PARTY!
I just want to meet a girl with brains. Magnificent, perky, bouncy brains.
— Don Swan (@TheSwanDon) December 6, 2013
“Hi. My name is Randi & I’m addicted to staring into glowing rectangles of varying sizes.” “Hi Randi.”
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) December 7, 2013
I love that I have gay friends with whom I can brunch and not feel judged for cleaning my plate.
— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) December 8, 2013
I joined a gym. Time to celebrate with some cake.
— Jessica Wakeman (@JessicaWakeman) December 8, 2013
Just searched the counter and my immediate vicinity for my phone. And then realized I was on it. On a phone call. So, that’s where we’re at.
— doniree (@doniree) December 9, 2013
Next time I’m in a standoff for a subway seat and the other person sits I’m going to start screaming “USURPER, USURPER!” and peeing myself.
— Kat Georgé (@kat_george) December 10, 2013
Made iPhone Cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, I’ll just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law. pic.twitter.com/MBGYAH1hiH
— Randy Liedtke (@randyliedtke) December 9, 2013
If a show has a character named “Brody,” count me out.
— Jordan Ashleigh (@JordanAshleighF) December 11, 2013
I’ve been counting the number of times the barista across the street has called me “sweetie.” Two more and he meets my parents.
— Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) December 12, 2013
My Christmas tree is a cross dresser. He’s wearing a tree skirt.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) December 9, 2013
BOOM! HAVE A FUN WEEK OF TWEETS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!